A Religious Dive

Hi there!

I am not sure if I have mentioned here that I am a Christian. If I have, then I have mentioned twice, if I haven’t, then there is my bold statement that Christianity is a massive part of my day to day life. I have always believed in a ‘God’ and when I was 11 years old, after being invited to church by a close family friend, I quickly grew to love God and Christianity and the morals and values of this ‘religion.’ It has bought me much hope and comfort over the years knowing that someone is watching over me, someone has a plan for me and that my life is worth something. No matter how often I go wrong (which I do a LOT of the time!)I know that I have someone who knows me, doesn’t judge me, and who is there gently nudging me along the right path. I am not forcing you to believe in god, nor am I shoving it down your throat as I am aware that sometimes it’s a subject that many who don’t believe don’t feel comfortable talking about as they are set in their views. Aren’t we all set in our views though? We all have our own right to have our own opinions and I respect that.

Anyway, moving on from that lengthy introduction; in wanting to improve myself through reading and what books can enlighten and teach me new and important values I chose;

‘Don’t Make History Change The Future’ – Matt Summerfield.

I chose this because I felt that a Christian book may be a nice change to the books I have been reading as of late and maybe it would introduce new perspectives as I may be about to embark on a new adventure with University. This book was given to me free of charge at a summer camp festival ‘Soul Survivor’ back in 2013. I visited that summer camp religiously for 5 years (pun intended!) Through my early teens I wrongly never made time for reading as there was always something more important to do or quite simply…I couldn’t be bothered! In doing so, this book became less and less of a priority to me as it sat on my bookshelf gathering dust. I am currently on a train on my way to my boyfriend’s house before we go away on holiday and in knowing that I would be going away in a few days I wanted a relatively short book that would enlighten me before I revert back to my beloved rom-com books to relax with and read on the beach.

Upon reading the title I thought it would be a book about my past and the people I’m from and how to make my own future and let the past build me rather than me following the footsteps of my parents. I was WRONG! I was so mistaken with this judgement! I guess I have just proven the theory that you should never judge a book by its cover! In contrast, this book followed the theme that every generation should help to build the next generation to make the world a better place; a more loving, giving, caring world where people build each other up to make and break new goals rather than beating someone down for setting the next new goal that you once conquered. It isn’t about holding the title for the shortest running time for the mile run; it’s about being an example to break the limits that people tell you are impossible to cross.

The world is full of so many possibilities and miracles and it’s in our hands to explore and see what awaits us, and to also bring others up inspired to explore further than we could ever reach. This book taught me to remain selfless, to always try to be positive in any given circumstance, to live life for a purpose and to dream big because by dreaming big you can achieve big. In a similar sense, it taught me not to criticise but to praise and let others inspire to do great things and let God lead the way. Not to alienate others to follow what I’m doing and love what I love, but to help them become who they want to become. It’s a process of accepting, loving and being who you are, and allowing and building others to accept, love and be who they were meant to be as well. I want to let Gods will be done. And by his grace, I look forward to meeting new stories and find out the paths he is putting extraordinary people on to do amazing things.

Jeremiah 29:11 – ‘’For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’’

God Bless J

The One Woman Fiesta

Have you ever had a book that was supposed to be comedic that you thought would be riddled with jokes and laughter and it all turned out to be a life lesson? Almost like when you tell your parent a rude joke and that turns into a life lesson…although there were no rude jokes on my part. Well the unexpected happened.

‘Is It Just Me’ – Miranda Hart

Well I can safely admit, at 10:31pm as I’m currently writing this blog post, It feels like I am still a school student hurrying to get my homework finished at the last minute so I don’t face the wrath of the disappointed teachers the next day. Oh it’s a glorious feeling that I am sitting here, Hotel Chocolat treats keeping me company as I type merrily away about my latest book adventure. SUCH FUN!

For those of you that don’t know me, I adore Miranda Hart! For those of you that don’t know Miranda, she is a British comedian who takes pleasure and earns great success from embracing the awkward embarrassing ‘someday-I’ll-look-back-on-this-and-laugh’ moments of life that in most cases normal people would cringe and want the ground to swallow them up. My dear reader chum, she laughs in the moment of it all and recreates this moments in her recently finished sitcom!

To show you why I love Miranda, here are some of my favourite quotes from her sitcom (this is where we learn that perhaps our comedic values aren’t quite on par with each other in which case dear chum, I apologise. I still find Miranda ‘totes hilaire’)

‘A savoury muffin?! Life is full of enough disappointments Gary!’

‘The queen of all words, Moist, the king of all words, Plinth, imagine a moist plinth…Bottom!’

‘Whenever I think of meals on wheels, I always think of little Yorkshire puddings on roller skates.’

‘I don’t want to be friends with someone who jogs, go and have a burger!’

‘Man: what do you love?

Miranda: Doughnuts

Man: What was your first love?

Miranda: Doughnuts

Man: What makes your heart skip?

Miranda: Doughnuts’

Anyway, continuing on...Whilst pondering on life’s issues from her current ‘I’m on the right side of my forties self’ she has consistent chats with her then eighteen year old self about the way things turn out. Pondering how she was, following the trends and falling to peer pressure to fit in and not actually allowing herself the opportunity to own up to her true dreams; relating to now when those dreams that she once thought horrific to admit were now evolving right in front of her eyes. MARVOLISSIMUSSOLINI!

With her true personality shining through, the infamous galloping, SUCH FUN, embarrassing encounters on dates and the horrific notions of weddings and hairdressers, she teaches all to embrace themselves with the admirable childish charm of her own ‘Miranda land’. Did you ever tell your parents ‘when I get older and everyone lives in my world everyone has to eat chocolate and there will be no shouting or crying and there’ll be clouds of ice cream and candy floss’….no? Just me? … Well, I hate to break it to you but its isn’t JUST me, in Miranda land ‘Fun’ and ‘Exercise’ do not mix, galloping is required in all art galleries because the hard wood floor is p.e.r.f.e.c.t. for such occasions and most importantly; people accept themselves for who they are. In all your weird and wonderful goodness, fat or skinny, funny or bright, or bright and funny, if you get on well with crowds of people or not, through the comedic value of the book Miranda teaches us all to accept ourselves as we are. No cover ups, just to come as we are and not worry about what others are thinking.

‘’You just don’t care do you?’

I could have thought, ‘Help, I must look like an idiot: I am on telly, doing sitting-down hand-and-shoulder dancing, while this person is playing it cool and I most definitely am not.’

The eighteen year old me would have stopped immediately, crushed by the peer pressure and pretended it was all ironic, but I carried on. And with total confidence, I said ‘No. I really don’t.’’

Perhaps everybody should stop caring what people think. Look how you want to look like, wear what you think looks good on you, don’t not wear it because ‘Shannon from English’ said it was an ugly dress. It doesn’t matter what people think, as someone once told me ‘those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.’ Be yourself and be who you want to be. And maybe, just maybe, allow yourself to admit what your dreams truly are because someday it might happen.

Dear 37 year old Sophie, here are your top 5 dreams, what you REALLY want!

1-      To be a good mum (this includes owning all the Disney DVD collection and watching them with your children!)

2-      To be happy

3-      To keep reading and dreaming

4-      To publish something (poetry or fiction)

5-      For everything to fall into place, by some miracle!

Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

Too Relevant

The second of the two books my Aunt let me borrow, seemed to be perfectly placed during this year’s reading list.

‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ – Mitch Albom

This is a non-fiction book, Morrie is a professor, or was a professor. Born in 1916 he had a relatively tough upbringing, aspired to get a job in a profession in which he wasn’t part of forced labour and so the journey of him teaching begun. He was a very wise man who had a large impact on many of his students, particularly Mitch Albom himself. Upon graduating, Mitch promised he would keep in touch with his beloved professor; however, this promise was long since forgotten until Mitch learnt his professor had ALS. Thus the two begun to meet on Tuesdays as they had done so many years prior to continue their lessons together. Though, the touching part for me was that these lessons didn’t require a textbook, a PowerPoint to follow, worksheets or homework, these lessons were invaluable; they were lessons of life itself.

Wednesday 8^th July 2015, 2 days before I started reading this book, the day before my leaver’s prom, I found out that my Nan had passed away at the magnificent age of 93. It still hasn’t hit home, I still haven’t been able to cry which is probably the reason I couldn’t cry by the time the inevitable happened in Albom’s novel. Though, without sounding morbid, it seemed to bring home the idea that it does happen to everyone and you need to live and have no regrets by the time your inevitable happens. Although the novella isn’t the happiest of topics to read about while the sun is shining (although today rain did pour as the tradition of English summer goes) but there were some truly beautiful quotes;

‘Love wins. Love always wins’

‘Love is the only rational act’

Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live’

These quotes are the type of quotes that when you read them, you re read them, you pause for a moment, turn away from the book and try and understand the meaning of them and the many ways they fit with you. In all the arguments and worries and stresses and deadlines of human lives, love wins, it’s the only rational thing we as humans can do, and when you learn how to die, you learn how to live. They are comforting thoughts, morbid thoughts and thoughts that I am certainly going to ponder on for a while.

But for now, a tribute, to my Nan, may she Rest in Peace. To the beautiful lady who always wore a smile, who was as young at heart as we are, who appreciated the small things in life, who taught us to be crazy and let go and be yourself, to the lady who lived a full life with my Grandad, with my father, with me and is now watching over us in heaven with her beloved husband whom I never met and with my Grandad who left us 4 years ago.

I love you. 

The time before Classic

 My most recent adventure was one borrowed from my Aunt. Having spoken to her about the way I had fallen in love with Mitch Alboms’ book ‘The five people you meet in heaven’ she gave me a second of his books and another she thought I may be interested in. She was SPOT ON!

‘The Alchemist’ – By Paulo Coelho

As you can see, in recent weeks I have ventured away from the typical romantic, stereotypical chick flicks that I LOVE to read and instead have been broadening my horizons, and in doing so I’ve surprised myself.  I love the thrill of a mystery story as in John Green’s novel, I love the honesty and emotion in Matt Haig’s novel, and recently I loved the traditional proverb way of writing of Paulo’s book; It follows the life of a boy, who interestingly remains unnamed throughout the piece, he’s a shepherd on first appearance however throughout the book he works towards finding what he’s destined for meeting many new people and learning many of life’s importance’s along the way.

I was intrigued by this book for its large array of life messages, traditional teachings and the way such strong morals were portrayed. Most notably was Coelho’s respect for religion and his portrayal of how everyone in the tale respected each other and their own Gods. For example there was a short moment where they were just about to embark on a trek across the desert and this was when the leader spoke up and said for each of them to pray to their own God for safety whilst he prays to his own. That level of respect was so refreshing to see portrayed in an era where a lot of battles are stemmed from religious conflicts all over the world.

As well as that I fell in love with the theme of following your destiny and doing it now rather than waiting for destiny to find you. One line that truly stood out to me on page 103

‘Now, I’m beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I’m happy at least that I didn’t wait twenty years.’

This was a beautiful concept that although you may be late to doing something at least it didn’t take you longer to do. In a sense its similar to New Year Resolutions, its better starting on the first of January with a new beginning rather than waiting 5 years to exercise, or get motivated to achieve your dreams. I suppose it’s very similar to something in my life, why wait until later when it could be done now? Let the preparations begin and I’m going to do something I could have done years ago, but I’d rather do it now rather than in another few years’ time.  

What could you be doing to make a difference now to change your life for the better as the boy did? 

A Reflective Thought

By the time I reach my keyboard after turning the last page in every book I always seem to get stuck with how to start. It seems to be a writers’ block before the writing has begun. I find writing poetry so easy, I pick up a pen, put it to paper and the words just seem to flow with the pen along the page and hey presto, a piece of art at my fingertips is complete. Yet with my blog, I’m writing to people and not to myself. I don’t know if people actually read this, when checking my viewers I seem to convince myself that the numbers are just me checking to see if any errors are in place, nevertheless it’s a weird thought that I am sitting here typing to an audience of sorts.

I have come to a conclusion, since we have moved on to yet another week and I still have 10 books to read to be on track; It seems I can’t press on. I have quickly come to realise that with all this free time it seems responsibilities have consequently gotten in the way of my reading i.e. I still have a job and chores that need doing around the house. I have taken to putting pressure on myself to read 52 books therefore reading is becoming a chore and that to me defeats the fun of losing yourself in a book...How is it a fun hobby when whilst reading my brain is constantly working thinking; ‘what is this book going to teach me so I can write about it in my blog?’ I have learnt that it isn’t about that, as much as I try to tell myself, books aren’t always about learning! They are about immersing yourself in a world that isn’t yours, losing yourself totally and completely in the words in the page, in the pages of the chapters and the chapters of the book so by the time you close that very last precious page, you feel completely different. Whether you’ve learnt something or not, it’s supposed to have changed you in a way. If it’s a book about courage and heroism, you feel compelled to be courageous and maybe act in heroic form to someone you love. If you’ve been reading a book about a love story then by the end you’re full of warmth and you want to share that love. The more I feel like I’m putting pressure on myself to whizz through the books and get a blog post up to say ‘I’ve read 52 books in a year’ in reality I haven’t read them properly. My eyes have flickered over the words on the page and the pages in the chapters and the chapters in the book… but I haven’t experienced them. I haven’t taken time to notice the themes or how I’m feeling, I don’t feel as attached to the book and fall in love with the books as I did at the beginning of the year. So here I am. This is me. Slowing down!

I am 9 weeks behind on my reading. That is ok! I will stick to a book a week, if I read more then hallelujah, that’s wonderful. I thought that i should let you know. I don’t want to compete with myself anymore, I would just like to fall in love with books and again and lose myself in the process. My boyfriend has let lucky because I haven’t forced him into the pit of doom that is my rant about the book I have experienced. I want to get back to it again. I want to get passionate and angry and frustrated at how the tale proceeded, I want to cry and laugh and feel a part of the lives that are held within the pages, I want to fall in love with the impact and imprint each wonderful story leaves on me. 

A Metaphor

I guess I seem to be failing at this whole book a week thing. Week 26 of the year and I have unfortunately read only 16 books! Of course exams took 7 of those weeks where I went cold turkey which thus led to me reigniting my addiction last Friday finishing 2 books and starting a third all in one day! 3 of those 10 missed weeks disappeared into a void of having taken longer than I had anticipated reading certain books. But now, here I am, after having taken a break, writing my 4^th blog post in 2 weeks! Is this where I am allowed to say ‘GO ME!’? I have planned certain books to take away on holiday, I have borrowed various others from friends and family, and I have a growing pile of 17 books on my bookshelf ready for me to go full steam ahead and make a dent in the list of 52 books I have to read this year. So here goes, book number 16;

Paper Towns – John Green

Firstly may I say that John Green is one of those authors that can just write so beautifully and fluently on a page that it can honestly feel like you are there in the setting amongst the characters’; I read ‘The Fault in our Stars’ last year and ‘Looking for Alaska’ is another must read for me this summer, the way he builds upon characters and back stories to create a life amongst the short chapter of the characters so called ‘life’ is just impeccable and admirable. For me, John Green is one of those authors that truly make me believe that my writing could never match to his standard therefore I may as well just give up whilst I’m ahead!

If any of you have not been following the craze of the new film release of this book then let me fill in the gaps for you. Margo Roth Spiegelman and Quinten Jacobsen are the protagonists of this story. Margo, the typical rebellious girl, hottest wannabe girl in school, dislikes her parents and has a knack for doing things she shouldn’t…. especially as she has a track record of running away but leaving decipherable clues in her leave. Quinten, the cute nerd guy that goes unrecognised by the girls including the rebel that he’s grown to love as her bedroom window has always been adjacent to his. One night she strings him along in one of her marvel moonlit plans and when he goes to find her at school the next day, she’s gone, having left deciphering clues behind that only he would recognise to find her.

Being perfectly honest with you, I’m not usually massively keen on mysteries and clue led books because we all know it's going to be miraculously solved one way or another in the end, but something about Green’s story gripped me from page one. Maybe it was the romanticist in me that hoped she would fall in love with her hero in the end, maybe it was the admiration of true friendship that having grown up with her, Q would never give up on her, and maybe it was the suspense of wondering what could possibly happen with each turning page and wondering what I could learn. For example, never have I ever seen someone use Pavlov’s dog theory in such a casual manner…*drinks*.

On another note though John Green did leave his imprint on me as with the other 16 books so far this year; the idea of paper towns. Paper girls needing a string, a guidance, paper towns looking amazing from a distance but you can’t see the rips and the broken paint from afar, the idea that nothing ever really matters when everything matters. I suppose we are in paper towns but in a different sense, each of our paper towns are compiled into pages and pages of our own books. Diary pages, poetry, art, books that are us. Our life is a paper town compiled together with chapters and chapters that even if we do dig a hole and bury it, we will never fully go away from it because it’s a part of us. This right here is me, sitting in my paper town room, as a paper girl, drawing something extraordinary of my own life to make it something special as I hope you are too. As Green quotes Emily Dickinson;

‘Forever is composed of nows’

And I completely agree. The now when you decide to do your homework and do your hardest for your exams, the now where you decide to do something small but meaningful for your partner or parent to keep showing them you love them, the now when you take a moment to step into the sunshine and appreciate what you have rather than waiting until winter to complain that English weather is crap, the now when you decide to exercise so you feel healthier and more energised...The now when you decide to see the positives in your life and turn away from the negatives and create your forever, now. 

Honest

When reading a book, or indeed, choosing one, I always think to myself ‘what could I learn from this one?’ Or ‘How would this book change me or my way of thinking?’ That’s part of what I love about books, fiction or non-fiction they always unfailingly take you on a journey of some sort. Upon judging a book by the cover, I thought that I would be taking on a journey of girls in society and how they are made to be what society wants them to be before breaking away and being what they want them to be. I wasn't entirely wrong...

‘How To Build A Girl' – Caitlin Moran

I didn't buy this book on first opportunity, nor did I put it on my 'to buy list.' I simply took a photo to think about it, then a few weeks later a good friend of mine recommended it. Whilst I could easily put it down and struggled to stay entirely focused on the words that were attempting to fly off the page and intrigue me further, after the last 100 pages I could not ignore the messages being portrayed and my trail of thought for this blog post completely changed after my first impressions. 

It follows the life of a 14 year old girl in the lower class society of England in the nineties, a time when music was becoming more popular, class structure was becoming a talked about subject and girls could attempt to be who they wanted to be on the surface, but yet, there was still something holding them back. ‘I want to write like a man’ Caitlin quoted in the book. This book reaps feminism ideals in the early critical stages of the effects of day to day life for women, and I admired that aspect of the book.

This teenage girl went on a journey to build herself as ‘Dolly Wilde’ rather than ’Johanna’ and that in itself I disagreed with, in my current world where girls are increasingly told to simple be themselves, this book shows the discovery of how a girl finally realises after being battered, bruised and banished away from a patriarchal world that's it's better and healthier for her to accept and embrace herself a she is. Especially as the men (apart from her trusted brother, father and one rare genuine man) belittled her and used her for her ingenious 'Fake it til you make it' persona. 

A scene that particularly caught my attention, and I won’t give too many spoilers, was how she dealt with a situation of being told by the guy she doted over that she was a bit on the side by that very guys’ currently ‘on-off’ girlfriend. I desperately wanted her to stand up for herself as she was torn between sticking up for herself or going through with a threesome with the 'other-girl' and this guy that clearly showed his preferences! Johanna’s character has such liveliness and an ability to open her eyes to see what’s in front of her, whilst making mistakes she takes the journey with both hands firm and she makes it her own and builds from those mistakes.

I particularly loved Moran’s writing, whilst some parts were rather descriptive sexually; her style and getting across certain messages were impeccable. P142;

‘I am getting incredibly high on a single, astounding fact: that it’s always sunny above the clouds. Always. That every day on Earth – every day I ever had – was, secretly, sunny, after all. However shitty and rainy it is in Wolverhampton – in the days where clouds feel low, like a lid, and the swarf bubbles and the gutters churn to digest – it’s always been sunny up here.’

I suppose that that is a good way to look at life. No matter what is going on or where you are in life, sunny in the sky or not; the sun is somewhere, there is a bright light shining through somewhere, you simply have to find it, hope for it and hold onto it. The same way my Christian belief is that god is somewhere, you can’t see him or feel him every day but you know that he is there watching over you knowing where the day is going to go and the clouds will pass over eventually.

However, past the morals and opening the world up to the reality of self-harm, dark and dismal places of life, how to find yourself and admitting to the fact that mistakes will always inevitably be made along the way and indeed emitting the audience into the weird and wonderful world of a teenage girl's mind, one of the final statements on the first page of chapter 24 truly gripped me as it was far too rateable and honest for me not to notice;

‘They do not tell you this when you are fourteen, because the people who would tell you – your parents – are the very ones who build the thing you’re so dissatisfied with. They made you how they want you. They made you how they need you. They build you with all they know, and love – and so they can’t see what you’re not: all the gaps you feel leave you vulnerable. All the new possibilities only imagined by your generation and non-existent to theirs. They have done their best, with the technology they had to hand, at the time – but now it’s up to you, small, brave future, to do your best, with what you have.’

I suppose that could be read in many different ways for different people and interpretations are drawn. Mine was that our parents can teach you all they know but you will at some point have to break away and trust what you know and stick to it, trust in yourself and your judgement too; it’s ok for you to be wrong…it is also OK for them to be wrong. Make life how you want it, build yourself how you want to be and don’t worry what people think. You’re you own person at the end of the day and society is not qualified to judge whether you actually fit in or not.

‘Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’

Lessons of life

Experiencing life in 3 hours… you wouldn’t think it were possible.

An entire journey of all that was, and all that it was meant for, consumed and appreciated in 3 simple short meaningless hours. Sat in bed, tucked under the comfort of my warm duvet next to a rather generous bar of chocolate so begun a journey. I had originally intended to read and finish it in a day; never did I think 3 hours would do the trick.

‘The five people you meet in heaven’ – Mitch Albom

If you want a book to open your eyes to life and the simplicity that resides in every day, past the meaningless worry and stress and wondering what is it all for, I am telling you to go and borrow or buy this book. I promise you it will NOT be a waste of your money OR your time. My very good friend Natalie lent it to me amongst 2 other books for the pleasure of my summer reading, and having been old that it explores the meaning of a person’s life after he died through 5 people who influenced his life it was the first I picked up of the 3 out of interest for the topic.

It follows the life of Eddie, an 83 year old that has a timely death on his birthday and upon his death is taken on a journey meeting 5 people; some who influenced his life, those who he influenced and in the process is given the reasons for it all. Have you ever wondered what the reason is for everything that has happened in your life? I know I certainly have! This book explores the reasons in the most simplest of ways, exploring the ideas of sacrifice and love that goes on even after poeple are dead, it explores guilt and the forgiveness that occurs without even realising it. If I'm completely honest it allowed me to home in on my own life, parental influences, the influence of my loved ones, the sacrifices I have made and the sacrifices many have made on my behalf. I suppose it opens your eyes to be grateful no matter what because whilst things aren't always sunny they are certainly purposeful in some way.

My life is at the point where soon I shall be moving forward in this world, away from the comfort of things being taken care of on my behalf, away from the comfort of not paying the bills and providing my own food and if I’m perfectly honest; the prospect of the future has been worrying me because of the many different and uncertain directions it could take. For the first time in a good few years upon reading this book I felt a sense of calm and for those short, cosy, insignificant 3 hours, nothing else mattered to me which meant the world.

I suppose life never really goes the way you want it to and that was certainly made evident in this book, I suppose in every book you learn something and the biggest thing that I learnt was to never go a day without  love and to always be grateful.

So here goes; I love my privileges in this world, I love the people that surround my day to day life even if they aren't here with me in person, I am grateful for the fact that I can say I will see them soon also for the hope that someday it will be different. I am grateful for the lessons I have learnt even if some of them were learnt more brutally than I preferred, and I am very grateful for a certain person who influenced me to open up the doors for love and forgiveness who now (after the influences and messages portrayed throughout this book) has made me feel a strong sense that I am on the right path. 

Non-fiction for a change

Well hello there! 

I’m back at long last! Please excuse my massive writing gap, I have been inundated with school work and exams and the pressures of getting into university meant that reading had to take a backseat for a while… I say back seat, I have as good as gone cold turkey on books and had a rising collection of over 13 books during that period! Nevertheless I am back and I started with a book that I thought would be fitting upon completing my last exam and in fact my last EVER day at school;

Happiness by Design – Paul Dolan

This book is a wonderfully written book full to the brim of research and evidence into the ways people go about being happy, however given that my brain has been overly tired having completed school the day before picking this book up I feel as though I couldn’t fully appreciate this book. Whilst I found it interesting as it talks about diverting your attention, moving away from the heavy technological society we live in today and aspiring to give more to others even if it is only your time, I also felt as though the target audience consisted of being well into your twenties and thirties, being married and either thinking about or living with kids!

With wonderful morals and attributes throughout, I feel as though I shall have to revisit when in 10 years and also let my mother borrow it and compare how she perceives it. Safe to say when Paul was referring to spending extra time to play with his kids and spending time away from stressing about bills and financial income, I couldn’t possibly relate!

A well written book, I would recommend, though do it when your brain is able to focus and wanting to learn, mine certainly was not. I am now going to move onto a fiction book and escape this world for the rest of the morning. :) 

I hope you are having a lovely day! Here’s my challenge for you within the theme of happiness;

What’s one thing you have to smile about today? 

My biggest inspiration yet...

To begin with, it’s 10 to 12 in the evening; my day has consisted of watching the end of star wars episode 4 all the way through to the end of episode 6! I then painted my nails and decided I wanted to finish the book I was about 70 pages into 5 days ago! It’s just over 260 pages long and I was determined to finish it. I have just turned the last page, put it down and opened my laptop. There is so much to say and I don’t want to forget a single word I had planned. If I sound slightly gibberish or my writing becomes clumsy…apologies! But I have a lot to say so let’s get to it.

‘Reasons to stay alive’ – Matt Haig

Upon hearing this title, it sounds morbid. It really does! But this book is entirely the opposite; Matt Haig confidently opens up to the world as he addresses his personal experiences with anxiety and depression. I myself suffer from anxiety and have done so for just over a year now, and I know a few people who suffer from anxiety and depression also. You would be amazed at how many people do feel sucked into a void of nothingness and feeling like there is no way out. This is why I HAD to read this book, it was imperative for me. A very good friend of mine told me they had bought it and my immediate response was ‘can I borrow it?’ I wanted to help people, I wanted to understand, I wanted more knowledge on what was happening to me. this book does exactly that, small positive probes that show you that you aren’t alone, short significant quotes that lift your mood and draw a smile on your face, stories of hurt and pain that’s relatable and also shows you the love in this world, a strong emphasis on how love is the most important thing us humans have.

One thing I love about this book is the love this author has for books:

‘There is this idea that you either read to escape or you read to find yourself. I don’t really see the difference. We find ourselves through the process of escaping.’

That’s why I love books; this book sums up why I’m determined to complete this book challenge this year. I want to broaden my horizons, I want to escape, I want to learn about the world and life and love and in the process I’m learning about myself. Cringy and cliché I know… but it is too true. There is something in learning and being drawn to characters that you see qualities in them that you want to apply to yourself. You don’t want to become them or morph yourself into this characters life to have their life that somehow figures out in the end, you want that little quality; the ability to tell a good joke, a smile that can light up a room, kindness, gentleness, a loving capability that spreads and helps others to love too. Books are powerful.

‘Books were about movement. They were about quests and journeys. Beginnings and middles and ends, even if not in that order. They were about new chapters and leaving old ones behind.’

Don’t you agree? However, you could also change the word books  in that quote and replace it with life. Life is about movement, different chapters, different beginnings and middles and ends in different orders in different variations for different purposes. I know myself, I'm currently facing an end, a beginning and middle all at the same time, and it’s exhausting but exhilarating at the same time. Its about turning the page and looking forward to what will happen next, pick the next book up quickly after having your moment to think about what happened in the book you just put down, turn to the next chapter, what do you want to happen? In life you’re the author…make it happen. Sit down, make a bucket list, what do you want to get out of life. What’s your reason to stay alive?

Mine? My dream of love in all its forms, a happy life, and the plans that I've made with people to unfold right before my eyes; they’re my reasons to stay alive.

‘If someone loves you, let them. Believe in that love. Live for them, even when you feel there is no point.’

This book honestly just leaks positivity, I smiled the entire way through, whilst the stories were heart-breaking; the hope and commitment that persevered throughout were admirable and inspirational, and most importantly …love. The way that this man talks of his wife and how she got him through was adorable, and also inspirational. She got him through and he admits to it, he knows that she was his rock and he gave her the hard love that he needed to pull through and it worked. She was his hope. Love is something never to be underestimated. If you truly love someone, no matter how hard the situation is or how it affects you, it doesn’t matter because you know that no matter what you’ll stand by them! There’s not even a question about it. No second thoughts. You just know.

‘Life is the people who love you. No one will ever choose to stay alive for an iPhone. It’s the people we reach via the iPhone that matter.’

There are so many morals throughout this book but this was my favourite. Life isn't materialism; materialistic objects don’t make us happy. Its people that do; I know from my experience that I'm not happy when I'm on my phone because I'm on my phone. I'm happy when on my phone because I'm talking to someone who makes me happy. He’s made a funny joke or he’s laughing because I just started to talk gibberish and that laugh is contagious. His cat has head-butted the phone in an attempt to give me a kiss and he has sent me a lovely text message telling me he loves me.

What makes you happy? Towards the end of the book Matt made a list, a 3 page paragraph list of what made him happy. Do it yourself , I will, and when you feel sad look at it and see if you can do any of them to make yourself happy in that moment.

‘Self-help

How to stop time: kiss.

How to travel in time: read.

How to escape time: music.

How to feel time: write.

How to release time: breathe.’

Of all the books I have read this year, this is by far the most inspirational. Things will always get better you just have to hold on to hope. If you doubt this, if you don’t believe me, if you want to know more, if you want further encouragement about life… read this book. I shall purchase it and it will sit proudly in my book collection as a regular read whenever I feel I need a little boost in life. I have a greater knowledge about depression and anxiety and I feel comforted that I’m not alone; we need to all be there for each other. Spread the love, be kind, smile, you never know the battles people are facing in private. I strongly recommend…I also wish writing a 2 page history essay was this easy! I apologise for my 1000 word essay ramble here, nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed. :) 

The Wrong Order

I made a mistake… a terrible, terrible mistake. I read Giovanna Fletcher’s SECOND novel BEFORE her first. Here I shall post my formal apology because after having read her first one, my friend who completed this task correctly, sent me a text explaining how there was a reference from her first book in her second. It’s a disappointing feeling knowing you weren’t the one to notice it and star shouting to the world. Needless to say I am now prepared for her third book!

Billy and Me – Giovanna Fletcher

I will tell you now, if you are a person who appreciates a love story that grips you, reduces you to tears and makes you feel like you are the main character then listen closely. If however, you are not, I don’t recommend you read on.

Giovanna wrote this book in such a way that with each character you came across you instantly felt the way the author intended, some filled you with a mild hatred, (others a major hatred) but other characters you poured your heart into and didn’t ever want to let them go. Whilst some of the book can be predicted due to the ‘fame’ nature of it, I was pleasantly surprised by the way the book took me by surprise.

For obvious reasons I was more drawn into the book from the fact that the protagonist was called ‘Sophie’ however the book is truly wonderful. Billy is everything you’d want in a man; Kind, caring, loving, thoughtful, endearing… most importantly he doesn’t give up on the girl that he loves no matter how much the press and the public try to intervene. I suppose Giovanna’s message portrayed here, given that she is married to a pop star herself, would be to show what life is like behind the limelight of the one you love. Particularly in that sense, there will be people who don’t like you and will try to get rid of you but it really is no one’s business to intervene.

Believe it or not, celebrities do have the right to a private life and a relationship, even if you promised your grandmother’s dog that one day you’d marry them!

For my boyfriend if he is reading this… I don’t want to marry that celebrity anymore... I actually text my friend wishing you were here to give me a cuddle because as your soppy sod, my heart couldn’t cope with the cuteness of it all! 

Unrequited love

The second of my naughty purchases of this month was one that I have had my eye on for a long time!

You’re the one that I want – Giovanna Fletcher

I have heard nothing but praise for this author and having heard that it’s all about love and soppiness, I couldn’t help but choose this as my next book of choice. Revision has properly taken hold of my life at the moment therefore I have had to reserve reading time as my unwind time just before I sleep in the evenings, therefore I get about an hour or so per evening to read. That makes me a little sad as I have loved throwing myself into reading this year to the point where if I’ve made a significant dent in the book, the majority of my thoughts are trying to decipher where this adventure will take me…and yes reading is an adventure! It’s as though you create a world in your head and you grow to love and befriend the characters and it’s certainly safe to say that I befriended the characters in this book.

I would like to note here that next to ‘Evermore’ By Alison Noel and ‘Eleanor and Park’ which I read earlier on this year, this is in my top 3 books. (Don’t worry; I shall be revisiting my favourite book  ‘Evermore’ at some point this year as it can’t not hold a special spot in my blog.)

‘You’re the one that I want’ is a tale of unrequited love between a trio of best friends ‘the tripod’ as they call themselves. 2 boys and 1 girl; Ben, Maddy and Robert, you could simply say that throughout the course of this book Maddy is torn over who of her two guy best friends hold her heart. However, there is absolutely nothing simple about this story! Mrs Fletcher truly had me gripped throughout the story. As the story progresses, a series of events get thrown into the mix driving the decision of love further and further from 'easy'– another girlfriend, a cheating boyfriend, engagements, life decisions – Maddy was never given a fair opportunity to make her choice without hurting someone.

It's a question throughout as to whether fate will control the situation, or if her heart will decide which path she wishes to take. All the while she wonders what life would be like next to the other guy.

The typical falling in love and it's fire being lit in the iconic place of love; Paris... I couldn't help but let my heart pour into this story therefore I could not put this book down! 400 pages, 4 nights, complete! I am passing it onto a good friend of mine so I can have an in depth conversation about how this book moved me to tears yet left me with a warm and happy heart throughout. I will be moving swiftly onto her debut novel next as she is a fabulous author and I can’t see myself ever wandering far from her named books on the shelves in a bookshop.

‘Three squeezes’ … ‘I’ he said as he squeezes my hand, ‘love’ with another squeeze, ‘you’ he finished with the third squeeze. 

Irrelevantly Relevant

I’ve been rather naughty this month with my pay check; I’m supposed to be saving up for my holiday in the summer also for a laptop. However, I went on a spree and purchased 4 books! Oops! This book only took me the weekend to read (It was a 5 day weekend as I was away, school teacher training day and being unwell.) I actually bought it for the totally sum of £2.51 - £2.50 of which was postage and packaging! Spending a penny for a book was a bargain I simply couldn’t refuse! Whilst I am very lucky in the fact that I am 18 years old and I have never faced a breakup (nor do I think that my current relationship is on its way out,) this book has had many good reviews and I thought that it would be an interesting read;

‘It’s called a Breakup because its broken’ by Greg and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt

I will say this now, just to clarify; my relationship isn’t on its way out which I am very pleased with. This book doesn’t have to apply to a breakup between you and a partner, after disappointingly losing a very close friend of mine it actually helped with the process of forgetting about them. I suppose my boyfriend and my current best friend are my 2 ‘breakup buddies’ for getting over that friendship that really did let me down when I depended on it.

Its a witty and very well mixed book with different boxes and categories and different layouts on pages with various fonts…this may sound really odd but this excited me a lot! It makes reading more interesting in my opinion and for this book it really did work! Whilst adding in tips and motivating you to become a ‘superfox’ it also motivated me to become a better version of myself for myself. And what’s better than setting motivations with baby steps….today I will get out of bed, today I will leave the house, today I’m going to go for a walk and so on so forth. Hey you don’t need to have had a breakup to use certain mechanisms in this book to move on, you need a life setback in whatever way it comes for you to realise that you need to be strong and move on. This book gave me ways to help me to move on from certain things that have been happening in my life lately and it was a good swift kick up the bum! Thank you Greg and Amiira!  

One thing I found most interesting in this book was all the stories of bad break ups and the confessions of the lengths people went to get their partner back. I really shouldn’t of, but I did giggle a little too much. Oops again! I loved this book even though it was irrelevantly relevant, a wonderful read and I can see myself passing this one around to those who need a little motivating. 

What’s the corniest cliché that you live by?  ‘Messy bed, messy head.’ 

A friend recommends ...

When starting a reading challenge for a book a week, you soon realise that you don’t have nearly enough books to cover an entire year… you also realise that you don’t have enough time to visit a local library when you’re trying to tie in revision and the likes. This is when friends who also like books become very handy as one good friend kindly lent me her favourite book;

'Submarine' by Joe Dunthorne

Whilst this book wasn’t massively my cup of tea as it took me a while to be immersed in the plot and one of the characters I truly disliked. Once I had started reading it on the train (reading on the train is fabulous pass time as it allows you to get massively attached before getting to the interesting bit 2 minutes before your stop) I found myself growing very fond of the main character and becoming very attached to the witty projection of his interestingly normal mundane lifestyle. Set in his school years this young lad endeavours to go all the way in his new relationship and also fix his parents’ marriage after encountering some unexpected circumstances of his mum and another chap all the while tackling depression in the family.

It’s a very witty book that left me laughing through the awkward moments and when paired with the film (that really didn’t run alongside the storyline of the book as such) the witty nature of it and the cleverness makes it very loveable even though it wasn’t quite to my taste.

On another note though, it was refreshing to read a book that wasn’t in the clouds with a happy ending and everything falling into place. Every now and again it’s good and certainly healthy to read something with somewhat of a realistic vibe that not everything in life works perfectly but you can certainly make the best of what you do have, if not it’s certainly a good adventure.

Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s good to get your head out from under the water and see life for what it really is.   

Young Love

Whilst reading the Fifty Shades trilogy, a few of my friends were consistently recommending books from their collection that they thought I would enjoy, and I had promised that as soon as I had finished I would get straight to it and the first one handed to me was;

 ‘Eleanor and Park’ by Rainbow Rowell

This book juggles between the viewpoints of a 16 year old boy (Park) and a 16 year old girl (Eleanor,) who go to school together but come from very differing backgrounds. Whilst struggling with school, family circumstances, bullies and the likes, these 2 young adults begin to venture into the world of the unknown to them… a world of a relationship. With the insecurity of whether you could call her your girlfriend, or getting used to the emotions that come with touch….not just any touch… THEIR touch they show what it’s like to be young and in love for the first time.

This was a wonderfully heart-warming book for me to read as I was 16 when I first delved into the realms of relationship, whilst I wasn’t ‘asked out’ until I had just turned 17, I met him when I was 16 and those emotions and feelings from the book are still so clear in my own memory. When they tell you they like you for the first time, and then the way your heart stops for a moment as they tell you they LOVE you for the first time, that saying never gets old. How when they hold your hand, you know it’s them even if you hadn’t seen them take it because you know the feeling you get when they hold your hand…innocent raw emotions, and this book was written so simply yet it came across so powerfully. The quiet reflection you get with yourself when you put the book down doesn’t consist of the love story of the 2 characters you’ve gotten to know so well, but it consists of paralleling the feelings those characters got to the ones you experienced and it sends you back in reminiscing.

Whist it is one of those books that leaves you with such a frustrating ending wondering what happens next, I don’t want to read a follow on because you just get that warm feeling that you already know where they are heading, you put the pieces together in our brain and there’s a content feeling knowing that they are both happy. Wherever they are, however the story continued, they are both happy.

 I truly fell in love with this book, it’s timeless. 

Three In One

Apologies for the massive break from writing, I have been reading a trilogy and it took a little longer than anticipated as school, drama exam, work and social life truly got in the way.

In keeping with trying new things out, and being at an age to ‘understand’ let’s say, the fifty shades trilogy was recommended to me.

Fifty shades of Grey

Fifty shades Darker

Fifty shades Freed – EL James

Admittedly, with the first book I was intrigued, not by the vast detail into particular scenes, but by the story. A story which showed the development of a highly controlling dominant man when faced with a head strong independent woman, it certainly left me with mixed feelings. To begin with I despised Christian, I had such a strong loathing for this man who teased with Anastasia’s emotions flitting between letting her believe she stood a chance and then becoming completely untouchable to her…however as he began to open up and let her in….or should I say she let him in….I began to understand the reasons for his crazy unruly behaviour. Whilst his behaviour was justified, I still didn’t agree with his controlling and possessive nature, though Anastasia’s vulnerability towards this man and her inability to steer clear of him didn’t help at all.

Throughout the second book, I became more intrigued and the story was spiced up well with one of Christians ex’s blurring the picture, though with the relationship picture blurred, Anastasia became all too clear of her feelings towards the man and her want to help him and lead him to a better place. I’d say this novel, whilst renowned for its sexual nature, could also be taken for a feminist book striving to show that women can take hold and take charge with a relationship and the way its headed. This man was trying to control her but she effectively managed to keep the reigns with the relationship and drove them steadily towards a happy medium.

‘Behind every successful man is a woman at home.’

Anastasia Steele was the success for Mr Christian Grey, stealing him away from his old habits and showing him the direction for something better, something long lasting, love and hope and a knowledge that he has someone who understands and won’t ever leave his side. I suppose the knowledge that you have someone who is there for you no matter what you say and knowing that whatever you dig up from your past that person won’t judge or run is vital in any relationship. EL James subtly showed these foundations for a relationship in a powerful manner, for me at least anyway.

The third book lost my interest rather quickly and the erotic scenes were already getting old, I didn’t want to hear another fancy word or phrase for orgasm, I didn’t want to know the various places they wanted to or indeed did have intercourse, which drove my interest away quickly. It was a very patchy book that didn’t have a flow to it, it was too easy to put down and say 'I’ll pick it up later' and in my opinion they could have finished the second book with a few extra chapters, however as I approached the final 25 pages of the book I was pleasantly surprised. I really didn’t want to put it down at all! As Christian became far more in touch with his rational self and his trying harder to ease up on Anastasia with his controlling and dominant ways, love really did start to seep through. As they started a family of their own and the childish flirting really did make my heart warm as certain lines made me think of my own relationship and how they hold you in times of want and how you’d happily hold them, that even when you fight you want it resolved but you don’t hate them, there is never a bone in your body that hates them but you hate what they may have done or what you have done to make them angry at you, and even upon seeing a tie on the floor from where they may have been in to see you sleeping away from them in anger, they still care enough to check you are sleeping well. The third book showed more of the early stages of any relationship and signs of unconditional love and fun heart-warming flirtatiousness between the married couple;

‘I kiss him, then the corner of his mouth. After a beat, he points to the other corner, and I smile and kiss it. He points to his nose. I kiss that. He grins and places his hands on my backside.’

 Do excuse me for going too deep with this one :P 

Furry Feline Friend

My third book took place much nearer to home in the streets of London. ‘A Street Cat named Bob’ written by James Bowen.

This book I finished in a day, I could not put it down. For all those animal lovers which admittedly I have a certain soft spot for kittens…this book is the one for you! It is a true story of how a young man who busked on the streets of London got very lucky to find this furry feline friend and his life was changed for ever. Not only did Bob show him love, companionship, dedication, he also helped this young man make more of an earning for him to make a better life for the both of them.

At times, it truly makes you question the morality of people when it comes to the attitude and treatment of animals; however it opens your eyes up to be thankful for the people who truly are kind hearted for humans and animals too. There are a few follow up books after this one and I intend on getting my hands on them, this book was lent to me by someone close and I am so glad they did. It opens your eyes as to how valuable, lovable and even loving animals are. Bob is very clever and certainly represents how you don’t need a human to sleep next to at night to know that you have someone looking out for you. They say cats are intelligent, and after having met and grown to adore Bertie (my boyfriends’ cat) I have to say I agree.

A heart-warming feel good book which opens your mind to things you may never have considered before. In honesty, I hadn’t considered a lot of the things that were found in the pages of the book that unfortunately James experienced, hopefully one day I may have the pleasure of coming across these two partners.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to prepare for my next visit to see Bertie. I would like to give the little man a cuddle J

Zoe Sugg's long awaited novel

My second adventure of 2015 took place in Zoe Sugg’s novel ‘Girl Online.’

Having travelled to Paris, Amsterdam and the likes of Europe in Nicholls’ novel, this time I ventured to New York from sunny Brighton. Quite obviously this book was aimed at younger teens therefore I have to say it was difficult for me to relate at this point in my life. I don’t have that boy in class whom I love because he’s the hottest boy in class…I also am not clumsy…or at least as clumsy as Penny….

Although there was controversy about this book being ‘ghost written’ I thought I would give it a go as I frequently watch Zoella’s videos and thought it may be a good read and although it has been a little over a month since I read it, I have yet to come to a conclusion as to my final opinion on this particular book. Whilst at times I was intrigued and eager to find out what would happen next, this book was definitely a typically far-fetched book.  Isn’t it what every girl dreams of, to go to a foreign country and become someone’s ‘inciting incident’? (For those who don’t know an inciting incident is essentially the person or thing that changes the story heading for something good or usually bad to happen, everything before becomes the back story and after is exciting so to speak.) I found it cringy personally when Noah referred to Penny as his inciting incident … for me it didn’t sit well. While the plot line was interesting, it was too much of a teenage fantasy than a believable novel… its much like me meeting my favourite male celebrity and then him becoming the love of my life. As I said, it was obviously aimed at younger teens.

Whilst it may have been a little out there, to say the least, it was a good read, one which I didn’t put down in a hurry and managed to finish in a little under two days. For those wanting an easy read, with a love story that for the most part is guided by luck and coincidence, I would recommend. It may just find its way back into my hands when I want a feel good story that makes you think that sometimes, just sometimes, things work out the way you want them to.

Girl Online, Going Offline

(I couldn’t not end it that way, credit to the author Zoe Sugg.) 

The first of many ...

The first book I read this year was ‘Us’ by David Nicholls. Technically it is supposed to be included on 2014’s reading list as I started Christmas day. However, since the bulk of it was read in 2015 I am counting is as part of my 52 books for this year.

I received this book as a Christmas present from the ever wonderful Father Christmas after telling my Mum that I had it among a few other books on my Christmas wish list. I managed to find a spare 20 minutes on Christmas day and honestly, it became rather awkward when I was the odd 18 year old sat in the corner of the room chuckling away to myself at the witty comments I had read when people began to look at me wanting an explanation….it’s even worse when having given an explanation you get blank looks as if to say that it’s really not that funny….

My humour is very dry, and I manage to find wit in every day comments that wouldn’t usually be found funny, no one else understands my humour but I am content laughing away when others aren’t….my theory is whether people are laughing or not, they manage to break into a smile purely at the fact that I am beside myself with laughter looking like an absolute fool and they find that amusing. At least it makes others smile, that’s my favourite part.

Anyway, back to the book. Whilst it’s not chronological in that it goes between talking about the main characters past and present, the main plot line that runs through is immense! I am not sure whether that is the right word and I won’t give any part of the book away however what I will say is this; The main character is Douglas and he, in attempt to save his marriage, agrees to go on the long planned ‘Grand tour’ with his wife and son to see if they decide they want to stay together. However, of course, what could possibly go wrong?

This book is one of those books where it’s not ‘oh, yeah, well that was going to happen wasn’t it…’ as if the obstacles were so far-fetched. Nicholl’s writes it in such a way that the things that go wrong are so subtle, and in my case at times humorous, you just become so attached to Douglas wishing things would stop taking a turn for the worst.  I found myself saying to my boyfriend on numerous occasions; ‘It’s just getting to the good bit’ at which point he would reply that ‘I said that last time he asked.’ I was hooked to the point that after having to read it in dribs and drabs over the last week of 2014 because of the busy nature of that time of the year, I took to spending as good as the entire day on the 2^nd of January to finish it. Staying up until 1am was well worth it I’d say. I went to bed very content with the ending result for the characters that I had grown to love.

Book number 1 complete J I strongly recommend!

Cliché - New Year, New Me

Hi, Sophie Here...

I suppose I must introduce myself; I am tall for a girl,brown hair, blue eyes (though at times they appear green!) I love to smile, I love to sing (even though I can be good but at the same time I can sound like a well rehearsed drowned cat) and I love to write. One day, in the very distant future, I would like to become an author, or a poet, either would make me incredibly happy! But my main goal is to be happy.

Given that 2015 is finally upon us I felt it was time for me to try new things. Given that I love to read I thought I would challenge myself to read more because I am impossible at finding the time to do it...that or I think that there's something better to do. So my challenge this year would be to read a book a week, or the equivalent to 52 books. Now here's the biggest challenge, I have decided to broaden my horizons a little; whilst I shall be reading books of my preferred genre, I will also be trying new books that I wouldn't usually pick up. I have already been given a few suggestions...Now this is the part where you come in, my little blog...I plan on documenting the books that I have read and may even recommend some if they truly grasp my attention.

I have to say it's exciting embarking on new adventures and trying new things, especially because you tend to learn new things about yourself and this year is the year I am wanting to discover myself.

Welcome to my blog, welcome to the new year....even if January is nearing the end. Welcome anyway :)